Sorrow of a Woman on Wedding

Empty, silence. I sit in my bedroom in the style of ancient China. A bed in red is in front of me and all those wooden furniture is placed finely. All is set quietly and perfectly, while I sit with my heart empty and my whole body in sadness. Alright, one thing I could not ignore in the room is the Chinese Xi1 placed over my bed.

The only problem is: this is not my wedding.

I have no idea I have been married here for how long, five years or maybe six. I had never met the guy I had to marry to before my wedding. My dad told me ”My sweetheart, marry him, and both of our two families shall live in peace.” That’s it, a unite by marriage coming out from the politics.

He never loves me, and I never wish.

The only thing I would do is to memorize my old days - being the youngest daughters at home, I have once been loved by all. And here at this home, I am my husband’s wedded wife, and that’s all. Other people view us as happy couples. Only I know how I am ignored and left behind. For now, I almost forgot what my original home looks like. All I know, is only how far is it from here.

Today is my husband’s big day to marry a concubine. Outside, you could hear a deafening sound of gongs and drums. That’s people celebrating and drowning in great happiness. Inside, there is only silence, a dead silence with me.

Looking up to the Chinese Xi, I find it more and more obvious and dazzling, making my eyes ache and beating my heart to break.

……

This is a dream I once had about a woman from the ancient time with marriage for unity. Me being a third person in the dream, I could witness all about the wedding: the woman, the room, the celebration of his husband marrying another woman, the Chinese Xi. The main colors go in red and brown (color of the woods). The Xi has been amplified once and once again. This character and its red color just set off by contrast of the woman’s gloomy feelings.

Waking up, I feel a light sorrow as well. As if I also faced with the tragedy of this woman in politics marriage. It also wakes up my memories of all the stories on making peace by marriage: princess Wen Cheng2, and Zhaojun3. Even the famous history has being praised for years and years, we may not come to understand the hidden and sorrow side of those marriages for unity. The brides’ unfamiliarity in a brand new land and living far from home, their language barriers with the people they are married to, the daily getting along with their unite married husband, etc.

Besides praising, we might also hold an objective and sympathetic thought of those politics marriage.

---

1 Chinese Xi:

a character representing the Chinese wedding, always in red to stand for happiness and celebration. On a wedding, there are always decorations related to this character setting in the marriage room as well as different sides in the house.

2 Princess Wen Cheng: Princess Wencheng was originally the daughter of a lord of Tang Dynasty. In 640 during Zhenguan Period of Time of Emperor Taizong Li Shimin of Tang Dynasty, the emperor granted her the title of Princess Wencheng. In 641, Princess Wencheng married Tubo and became the queen of Songzan Ganbu of Zanpu. From then on, Tang and Tubo(a neighbouring land of Tang) became a good unity by marriage.

3 Zhaojun: Wang Zhaojun (about 54 B.C. - 19 B.C., Han Dynasty), as the palace maid of the Han Yuan emperor, she was granted to be married to Huhanxie Shanyu (head of the South Xiongnu nearing Han). And Shanyu then wrote that he was willing to protect the frontier for Han Dynasty forever.

Pictures from: Baidu